


Lies and Goose Feathers

by KateKintail



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, F/M, Goose-typical violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 03:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16925583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateKintail/pseuds/KateKintail
Summary: When a soulmate goose arrives at the Torchwood Hub, Ianto finds himself deeply buried in another series of lies.





	Lies and Goose Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> This is a soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose

It was a normal day in the Torchwood Three Hub. Ianto had fed Myfanwy. He had cleaned the empty weevil holding cells. He had taken some measurements of time and space rift activity and noted them in the log. And now he was brewing a cup of tea before his shift in the Cardif tourism office. It was all utterly normal. 

Until, that is, Ianto turned around and found a soulmate goose at his feet. He was so surprised he dropped the cup of tea straight away. It fell to the tile floor and shattered on impact. The goose ruffled its feathers in agitation but did not make a sound or a move otherwise. “Ianto?” he heard Jack call his name and a wave of panic rushed through him. 

Jack couldn’t see this goose. Ianto knew hiding one more thing here at the hub was the absolute worst thing he could do just now, but he didn’t have a choice. It wouldn’t take Jack long to figure out what was going on inside Ianto if he saw the goose or the goose saw him. Ianto heard Jack’s footsteps approaching one level above and he did the only thing he could think to do. Ianto bent down, grabbed the goose, and tossed him into one of the kitchen cabinets. He had just enough time to whirl back around and lean against the counter before Jack appeared, leaning over the railing to look down into the kitchen. 

“All right there?” Even from a distance, even alight with worry, his eyes sparkled.

Ianto nodded. “Yes, sir. Just broke a cup.” Behind him, the goose tried to push its way out of the cabinet. The cabinet door bumped the backs of Ianto’s legs but couldn’t open all the way. Ianto bent his leg at the knee and pressed the bottom of his shiny black dress shoe flat against the door, pushing it closed. With his hands gripping the counter on both sides of him, Ianto tried to look casual in the pose. “I didn’t realize the cup was hot when I went to pick it up and it startled me…” This was the flimsiest lie. There was no way that Captain Jack Harkness wouldn’t see right through this entire charade. 

“I’ve done that,” Jack nodded knowingly. “Just be careful when you clean it up, all right? I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” And, with that, he turned and headed back to his office. 

Ianto stared after him, incredulous. How had Jack not called him on any of that? Ianto crossed his arms over his chest. Truth was, it was too late. He already felt hurt and sick, too, at the idea of lying to Jack again. He’d promised to never do it again… but a soulmate goose changed everything. 

If Jack found out about the goose, Ianto would be out of Torchwood faster than a pterodactyl could devour a bar of dark chocolate. Jack wouldn’t let Ianto stay if he knew how deeply Ianto had fallen for him. Captain Jack Harkness couldn’t have one of his employees—especially not the supposedly proper, straight, put together one—lusting after him. Ianto would be dismissed from Torchwood. He would be retconned so fast he wouldn’t even see it coming even though he would know it was coming. And if that happened, Ianto would forget about all of them. He’d forget about helping save London and Wales, too. He’d forget about Lisa. And Gwen. And Tosh. And he’d forget about Captain Jack Harkness. And, more than anything else, Ianto couldn’t allow himself to forget about Jack. 

So he had to pretend there was nothing wrong; he had to lie. There was just no other way around this. By the time he was done carefully cleaning up the broken cup, as promised, Ianto had formulated a new plan. It wasn’t particularly good, but it was the best he could come up with. The only problem was that it meant even more lying. 

Ianto pulled one of the heavy wooden chairs over and pushed it against the cabinet door so that the goose couldn’t get out. Then he called back up, “Jack?” 

He listened and heard nothing. His heart pounded, and his anxiety built to the point where he thought he might have to turn around and be sick into the sink. But he tried to at least look like he was calm. He tried again, a little louder. “Jack?”

This time, there were footsteps. And then there was Jack leaning over the railing again. “Yep? What do you need?”

For the briefest of instances, Ianto thought about coming clean. What he needed was to tell the truth. And to let this goose out so it could run to Jack and express to the man all the things Ianto had been thinking, feeling, and dreaming for the past few months. He wouldn’t even have to say it. He could just let the goose explain it for him with a honk. 

“Honk!” 

The sound was muffled from within the cabinet, but it sounded so loud to Ianto that he was sure tourists up on the plass probably heard it. Thinking quickly, Ianto pushed the chair. The sound the legs made as they scraped against the tile sounded a little like a honk. 

Jack didn’t question it. He just looked down at Ianto expectantly. “Ianto?”

“Jack…” he began, his voice failing him. Here it was: his chance to come clean. And, instead, he said, “I really don’t feel good.”

That wasn’t a complete lie. He felt panicked and nauseated and guilty. So very guilty. 

But the next bit was a terrible lie. “I think I’m coming down with something.” 

Jack’s face showed instant concern. Within a second he was already heading down the stairs and right for Ianto. He studied Ianto’s face closely, and Ianto felt sure Jack would see right through this lie. “Hmmm. You do look pretty flushed.” He glanced around the hub as if there was someone else there he could ask. But everyone else was out. Gwen and Tosh were following up a lead in the countryside and Owen was consulting on a highly risky medical procedure involving alien technology. It was just the two of them. Or, well, there were the weevils downstairs. And Myfanwy, of course. And the goose in the cabinet. And all the dead bodies of past employees in their vaults. 

A thought passed through his mind then, making him wonder if Jack would even bother retconning him. Maybe Jack would be so enraged that Ianto lied yet again to him that he’d just put a bullet in Ianto’s brain and be done with him. What happened to your soulmate goose if you die? Would it haunt Jack forever? Or would Jack show it mercy and kill it as well? Would Ianto be forced to lie on a slab in the Torchwood morgue with a goose beside him for all eternity? 

Behind him, the goose’s wings hit something, making noise. Quickly, Ianto pulled his hands to his face and faked several loud sneezes. They didn’t even sound like his normal sneezes. Surely, Jack would notice that. 

But he didn’t seem to. He smiled pityingly and reached forward to pull Ianto’s handkerchief out of Ianto’s breast suit pocket. Today’s was bright green. That handkerchief was supposed to be just for show; Ianto had one actually meant for catching sneezes and other such jobs in his back pocket. But as these weren’t real sneezes anyway, he wasn’t worried about getting it wet. He pretended to be grateful as he accepted the cloth from Jack and wiped his nose. “Thanks,” he murmured, crumpling the hanky into his fist so Jack wouldn’t be able to tell it hadn’t actually done anything. 

“Well,” Jack said with a sigh. “I suppose you could wait around for Owen to get back. Though if the situation grows complex, he might not be back until tonight. And you probably feel a little miserable already, right?”

Ianto nodded. Oh, miserable was something he definitely felt. 

“Then I think you’d better go home. Get some rest and come back when you feel up to working again.” He paused and then comprehension started to dawn on him; Ianto could see the sudden understanding in his eyes. “Ianto… is this really how you broke the cup?” 

Lies on top of lies now. Ianto almost couldn’t take it. He looked down at the tiled floor, tears filling his eyes. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t push the air up out of his chest. But he bobbed his head ‘yes.’

“Oh, Ianto,” Jack sighed. “It’s all right. No need to beat yourself up over it. It was just a cup. Torchwood’s definitely seen worse than someone coughing or sneezing and losing their grip on a cup. Though… speaking of which…” There was still hot water in the kettle, still tea bags out on the counter. Jack walked over to a cabinet and started rooting around inside it. Not finding what he wanted, he moved on to the next cabinet and then the one beside that. When he was one away from the one with the goose in it, Ianto started to panic again. He could just imagine Jack pushing the chair out of the way and pulling the cabinet door open only to have an angry, hissing soulmate goose leap out at him.

“Um, Jack?” Ianto’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat, coming back stronger afterward. “What are you looking for?”

Just when Ianto decided he had to intervene, Jack pulled out a travel mug. He held it up triumphantly as he stood again. “Something for your throat, since you missed out on that last cup of tea. And you can take this with you on the road as you head home. Plus…” He knocked on the side of the gray travel mug. “It’s plastic.” He loaded it up with honey and lemon and two herbal teabags. Then he popped the top on and handed it over to Ianto. “Here you go.” 

Ianto’s job at Torchwood included making coffee and tea for his teammates. He knew precisely how each of them preferred their drinks. But he hadn’t counted on Jack knowing how he took his tea when feeling ill. When had Jack picked that bit of information up? It had been almost a year since Ianto’s last head cold, and he never took honey in his tea any other time. 

When Ianto took the mug, he sniffled a few times. The tears threatening to spill from his eyes were making his nose run, lending a little more authenticity to the lie that he was ill. “Thanks, Jack.”

Jack clapped him on the arm. “Feel better. Give me a call tomorrow to let me know how you’re doing.” 

Ianto nodded automatically. “Yes, sir.” 

Jack gave him one more smile, this one filled with sympathy and support, before turning and heading back upstairs. 

Ianto stayed where he was, sipping his tea, waiting until he was alone again and could deal with the real source of his problem. Then he set the mug down, scooted the chair out of the way, and opened the cabinet a crack. The bright orange beak of his gray soulmate goose immediately struck out at him, pecking his forearm. “Ow!” Ianto glanced up at the railing, but he didn’t see Jack and heard no footsteps. “All right, you.” He threw the cupboard door open and reached in. There was so little that was known about soulmate geese, but the one thing that Ianto did know was that it was never going to stop following him until it got him together with Jack. Still, Ianto couldn’t take the chance of it flying inside the hub and hitting sensitive equipment. He would have to carry it; there was really no other option. 

If Jack happened to be looking at security cameras for this segment of the day, they would have shown Ianto hurrying out of Torchwood with an irate, giant, gray goose tucked under one arm and a plastic mug of tea in his other hand. 

*

The next morning, Ianto started his morning routine of getting ready for work and was halfway through buttoning up his suit jacket when he remembered he was supposed to be ill. Not even Jack’s wonderful herbal tea could have helped him kick a cold that quickly. So he got out of his suit, put on a sweater and flannel lounge pants, and settled down on his couch. His living room was in disarray; the goose had not been pleased to be taken further away from Jack Harkness, and it had taken out its frustration on both Ianto’s flat and on Ianto himself. His life, too, was in disarray. He loved working at Torchwood; aside from falling in love with Jack, it was what filled him with the most joy. So he was bitter about being forced to stay home now. But what choice did he have, apart from admitting he’d been lying? 

So he phoned Jack, who answered on the first ring. “Hello? Ianto?”

Ianto’s heart skipped a beat, though he knew perfectly well there was Caller ID. “Hi,” he said softly, not realizing how much he’d wanted to hear Jack’s voice until he heard it. 

“Oh… you sound terrible. Nasty cold got ahold of you?”

Ianto faked a cough and pinched his nose. “Yeah. I had a bretty rough dight. I don’t thig I cad cobe id today. Though if you really deed be to…” 

“No!” Jack said quickly. “As painful as it will be to be without your marvelous coffee for a day, I believe we will survive. You just rest and feel better, all right? And let me know if there’s anything I can do? Preferably something that won’t make me catch your cold.”

Ianto chuckled and coughed again. He tried to make his voice sound trained. “Thadks, Jack. I’ll be fide.” He hung up and sighed. Then the goose bit him hard on the hand. 

“Ah!” He glared at the goose. “Look,” he tried to explain to it. “I can’t go to the hub. If Jack finds out I love him, I could get killed. I don’t care if he is my soulmate, because one glorious kiss isn’t worth the risk of losing my job and potentially my life. So I think it would be best if you just left now.”

The goose did not budge. In truth, Ianto hadn’t expected him to. None of the stories of soulmate geese he’d ever heard had depicted them as creatures who would ever give up. No, when one came to you, you were stuck with it until you and your soulmate acknowledged each other. In some stories, it took only one kiss for the goose to vanish. In others, the kiss had to be a special one, meaningful. There was an urban legend about a couple who kept kissing for weeks until their goose finally left. And while spending several days kissing Jack sounded like several days well spent, Ianto was sure Jack wouldn’t be so thrilled at the prospect. 

“Fine,” he sighed. “Guess we should have breakfast, then. Will you promise not to maul me while I’ve got something got on the stove?” 

The goose made no promises. 

* 

Every day, Ianto woke up feeling worse and worse. The goose’s attacks only increased in violence. But it was Ianto’s guilt that was the hardest for him to handle. It tore him up inside. He wasn’t sleeping. He was barely eating. He had tea and nibbled on biscuits and crackers, but even those tasted terrible to him, knowing that Jack believed all of these lies he was telling. 

The worst part was that by now, he couldn’t think of a way to come clean. This had gone on too long now. It was Lisa all over again. And he hated himself for letting it go this far. 

To get away from the goose for a few hours every day, Ianto went on walks. Once, when it was freezing and rainy out, he purposefully forgot his coat and hat, hoping that he might get chilled and catch a cold. That way, what he’d said wouldn’t be a complete lie. But he came back soaked to the skin and shivering instead of coughing and sneezing. He didn’t even run a mild fever, though he stuck a thermometer under his tongue twice to check. 

When his phone rang one afternoon and he saw who was calling him, Ianto was nearly tempted to just tell Jack the truth and suffer the consequences. Any punishment—death included—had to be better than living with a goose for all eternity. He took a deep breath as it rang then answered. “’Lo?”

“Oh thank God. Ianto, we need you here!” 

Ianto sat up. “What?”

“I know you’re sick, and I’ sorry to do this, but it’s an emergency. It’s an all hands on deck situation. We’re under attack. Will you come in?”

Ianto was already slipping off his flannel pants. “I’m on my way.”

He heard a sigh of relief then a soft “Thank you” before the call ended. 

Ianto put on a suit, but he skipped shaving and grooming, though he tucked a comb into his pocket so that he could run it through his hair a couple times along the way. He broke speeding limits and only paused at stop signs. The only other thing he had done before leaving was to lock the goose up in his bedroom, knowing full well that the goose would probably break lose and wreak havoc throughout his flat. He had no choice, however, apart from bringing the goose with him. And that was something he just couldn’t do. Besides, if there was a fight at the hub, the goose could get wounded or even killed. That would solve some of Ianto’s problems, but certainly not all of them. 

Ianto parked his car and had his weapon out as he rushed into the hub. Jack hadn’t specified what entrance to use, so Ianto went through the deserted tourism office, which must have been closed the whole week Ianto was out, as keeping it open was Ianto’s responsibility. 

As soon as he was through the door, he felt a pull and found himself crouching behind Toshiko's desk with her. He heard gunfire and yells and some sort of pounding sound. “What's going on?” he asked as loudly as he dared, wanting to be heard but not overheard. He needed to know what he'd just gotten himself into. 

“We're under attack,” she told him, peering out from behind the desk to make sure no one was coming at them. “There are ten of them, best I've been able to count.”

“Why aren't we on lockdown?” 

“They're trying to get in, not out. They're after something, and there's no stopping the—Ianto! Your face!”

Ianto froze. Sustained goose attacks for the past week had resulted in bruises around the bites and cuts from the now broken things in his flat. But he couldn't tell her this, of course. There was nothing for it; he had to come up with another lie. “Got mugged on my way to the chemist yesterday. Just my luck, yeah?”

She looked like she didn't believe a word of it, but she didn't say so. There were more important things to talk about. “Jack and Gwen are downstairs with most of them. Owen managed to lure a few of them away from the device they brought in. The plan is to slow them down until we can figure out how to stop them. They're after something down there, but we can't tell what and they're not saying. In fact, they haven't said a single word to us.”

Ianto heard running footsteps and knew that they didn't belong to any of his teammates. With both hands on his gun, he jumped up. He saw a vaguely humanoid figure in something like black vinyl running toward him. “Stop!” he yelled. It didn't stop. So Ianto pulled the trigger. The direct shot to the head blew the figure back. It crashed against a workstation, making Tosh wince at the damage the equipment must have sustained. 

She was up on her feet as well and grabbed his hand. “We have to get out of here.”

“Why?”

“When it gets up—”

“Tosh, I shot it in the head! It's not...” But he trailed off as he saw one of the black boots start to stir. Then the second did. 

“Bullets only seem to slow them down. We can't find anything that stops them completely. We've tried fire and even cutting them to pieces. They keep right on coming. And we don't want to be here when that one comes to.” 

That was something with which Ianto could adamantly agree. They ended up under a different desk, closer to the stairs that went down. The noises were louder here, making Ianto worried about the rest of Torchwood in general and Jack in particular. He knew Jack would be able to take care of himself, but against beings that seemingly couldn't be stopped, it was only a matter of time before Torchwood fell. No wonder it was an all hands on deck situation. This was even worse than being locked in here with a Cyberwoman out to delete them all. Ianto had been doing a lot of lying, but at least he wasn't responsible for this particular invasion. At least, he hoped he wasn't. 

Two more figures ran up the stairs, straight toward their current hiding places, and Ianto shot them both without hesitation. Then he spun around and shot the first figure that was back on its feet. He felt Tosh's hand on his back this time, pushing him forward so they could find a new hiding spot again. Ianto felt a sickness in his stomach at another game of hide and seek in here. At least this was their hub. They had home field advantage and knew all the best hiding spots. “The greenhouse,” Ianto suggested, and Tosh nodded. They ran. 

It was common knowledge that if you were away from your soulmate goose for too long, it would get even more violent and break down everything in its path until it found you again. Ianto wasn't exactly sure how long was too long, but as the hours ticked away, he began to worry that his goose was going to suddenly appear in the thick of things. He had plenty of bullets, but geese were unpredictable. He and Tosh understood this strategy of hiding, shooting, running, and hiding again, but he wasn't sure he would be able to explain it to a goose or even protect a goose in the midst of this fight. Often, though, he took out his pocket watch and checked it to see how long since he'd left the goose. 

Ianto also worried that maybe the goose was what these aliens were actually here for. Maybe, somehow, they knew about his and Jack's goose and wanted it for something. Maybe they were from a planet that didn't have soulmate geese. Or maybe Earth's soulmate geese were special in some unique way. After the abuse he had suffered at its beak all week, he had half a mind to hand the goose right over to these guys. That would solve his problem, anyway, if they managed to get rid of the thing before it could target Jack. Of course, they might not even be after the goose after all. They might be after something stored at the Hub. Or they might be after Jack. And that last idea was what made him feel especially sick to think about. 

He and Tosh had five of them after them now, and they were starting to run out of ideas of places to hide. They'd gone back to some of the ones they'd used before, but pretty soon they were also going to start running out of bullets. Ianto could only guess that Jack, Gwen, and Owen were doing the same. At least the aliens were split between the two groups more evenly now. 

Ianto fired five shots into their chests, taking them down like it was some awful carnival game. He turned to Tosh. “Kitchen?” She nodded. It had been a while since they'd hid there. 

She nodded, took a deep breath and pushed herself onward. Hours of constant movement was genuinely exhausting. The kitchen had the added benefit of allowing them to grab some food there as well, if they needed to. They ended up hiding in the cabinets under the sink this time, and it wasn't until they were there that Ianto realized this was the same place he'd stashed his goose nearly a week ago. The boxes and containers were all over the place, having been overturned by the fussy goose. Ianto even spotted a few goose feathers. 

So did Tosh. “What are these from?” she whispered, picking them up.

“Probably a feather duster.” Ianto lied again. 

She narrowed her eyes at them. “They don't quite look like that sort. They look more like—”

Ad that was when the cabinet doors were pulled right off their hinges. The shiny, black aliens came at them, fingers flexing menacingly. One caught Tosh around the wrist, and she tried to pull free, screaming, but its grip was too tight, clenches as though it were locked there. She kicked at it and shoved her other hand in what would have been its face if it were human. 

And, suddenly, it pulled back. Its grip slackened. It made a high pitched cry of distress then literally crumpled into nothing before their very eyes. Ianto and Tosh stared at each other, and then they looked at the spot where the alien wasn't any more. It didn't seem to be coming back. But there were four more closing in on them now. 

Ianto grabbed a few of the feathers, feeling absolutely absurd doing it but deciding it was worth a shot. With his gun in one hand, aimed right at its head, he thrust his other hand in the direction of the closest alien. It reared back in fear. He lunged forward, touching the feathers to its arm. It screamed and self-destructed in the same way, shriveling up on itself, growing smaller and smaller until it was entirely gone in mere seconds. “It's the feathers!” Ianto shouted at Tosh, who definitely didn't need that notice. She was already going after one of the three remaining aliens. Ianto went after the other two. 

In just a few minutes, all five were gone. The hub looked like it had been through a war, but at least this battle was over. 

Tosh immediately headed for the stairs, and Ianto was right behind her, soulmate goose feathers clutched tight between his fingers. 

The others had barricaded themselves by the vaults, though the device the aliens had been making significant progress in breaking through those defenses. Luckily, nothing stood between these five aliens and the feathers. 

“It's safe now,” Tosh panted, waving her hand in the air. “We're done War of the Worlding them!” 

Owen looked worse for the wear as he emerged. He caught sight of them and gave a laugh. “You two look about as bad as we do. You look dead on your feet, Tosh.” She looked embarrassed to be called out like this, but the reaction was short-lived because Owen turned his attention to Ianto. “Your face! What happened to you?” 

“I've been fighting aliens,” Ianto said, shrugging. 

Tosh narrowed her eyes at him, though. “I thought you said it was a mugging?” 

Ianto was spared answering by Gwen, who was emerging, cradling her arm as though she had injured it. “We tried water, and that didn't work. What stopped them? Amonia? Some sort of scientific concoction you came up with? Some tech we didn't try?”

“Feathers,” Ianto and Tosh said in unison. 

Jack emerged from behind the barricade and grabbed one of the feathers from Ianto's hand. He inspected it carefully. “Where did this come from?” he asked. 

“Under the sink,” Ianto said, glad for once that it wasn't a complete lie. Though a lie of omission was technically still a lie, wasn't it?

Before Jack could ask a follow-up question, an alert sounded. Fearing there were more aliens coming in, the entire team raced upstairs to see what was happening. It wasn't more aliens, however. It wasn't even a person. No, standing on the invisible lift step outside of the Water Tower in Roald Dahl Plass was Ianto's goose looking madder than Ianto had yet seen it. They all watched the monitor as it hopped up and down, as if it could make the lift work. 

Everyone looked around at each other, except for Ianto, who stared at the monitor so he wouldn't meet anyone's gaze and give himself away. Unfortunately, he wasn't thinking fast enough and Gwen grabbed for another one of the feathers still in his hand. She held it up to the monitor, comparing the coloring. Then she looked around at her teammates. “Whose soulmate goose is this?”

No one spoke. Ianto felt his ears go as red as they ever had, but he kept his eyes on the screen. 

Softly, Toshiko said, “Maybe it's yours, Gwen?” Gwen gave a start and glanced at Owen then at Jack. “Yours and Rhys's, I mean. It could even be Rhys's goose, couldn't it, come to find you?”

“It could be anyone's goose come to find one of us,” Gwen agreed. “But then how did its feathers get into the kitchen cabinet?” 

No one spoke, because no one had an answer except for Ianto, and Ianto couldn't say anything. His throat had closed up and he had forgotten how to breathe deeply enough to get air into his lungs. 

Jack reached down to the terminal and pushed the button to allow the lift to descend. Ianto winced at this, and Jack noticed. Jack wasn't as clueless as he had seemed after all. “Ianto? Care to explain?” 

Ianto shook his head. Tears filled his eyes. His hand closed around the barrel of the gun in his pocket. His only hope right now was to shoot the goose dead before it got to Jack. Then Jack would never know it was meant for the two of them. Then Jack wouldn't dismiss him or kill him. Jack wouldn't have proof. He would only have speculation and a dead goose. 

The lift seemed to take hours to descend. But once it did, the goose looked around the Hub and made straight for him, of course. Ianto whispered a soft apology, pulled out his gun, and pulled the trigger. 

The gun clicked but did not fire. Ianto's heart just about stopped. He checked his weapon. It wasn't jammed; he was completely out of rounds. If they hadn't found those feathers when they did, he wouldn't have been able to shoot the aliens to give the two of them time to escape. The goose had inadvertently saved his life. And now it was heading over to ruin his life. 

It navigated around overturned chairs and other fallen equipment. So it took a while to get to him, but get to him it did. It came to a stop right in front of him, looked up into his watering eyes, and honked loudly. 

“Oh, fuck me,” Ianto whispered. 

Jack chuckled. “I think what you mean to say is: oh good, I have a soulmate out there somewhere waiting for me to be led to her.” 

Ianto shook his head, closing his eyes. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “That's really not what I meant to say at all.” He swallowed hard, eyes still closed. “Gwen, Tosh, Owen, could you give us a minute? I need to speak to Jack in private.” 

“Give us a minute?” Owen teased, poking Ianto.

But Gwen pulled him back. “Sure, Ianto. We'll start evaluating the Hub to figure out what needs cleaning, replacing, and fixing.”

“Thanks, Gwen. We can talk in private in my office,” Jack offered. Jack took hold of Ianto's arm to guide him to the stairs. With his eyes closed, Ianto wasn't expecting it and didn't have a chance to pull back. The moment Jack's hand made contact with Ianto, they both felt sparks. Jack gasped and moved back, but the damage had been done. 

Ianto opened his eyes and lifted his head. “Let's go to your office. If...” he trailed away, trying to find the courage to continue. He could barely speak, barely breathe. “If something is to happen, I think I'd like for it to happen there.” 

Jack led the way up the stairs, and Ianto thought multiple times about turning around and just running. Just running and never looking back. But he knew Torchwood would find him. There was nowhere he could go that they wouldn't find him. There was nothing he could do but follow Jack to his office like a loyal puppy with his tail tucked between his legs. Legs that the goose was busy pecking. There were bruises up and down his calves from enduring that all week, but he hardly felt the pain now. 

He watched Jack climb the stairs in front of him, saw the man's form, saw his arse. He knew this man was going to yell at him and maybe even murder him. But, damn him, Ianto still wanted the man more than he'd ever wanted anyone. His heart actually ached more than any other part of him. 

The walk down the hall felt like the longest of his life. And he felt like he was moving in slow motion as he sank into the chair in front of Jack's desk. Jack stood behind his chair, leaning into it with his arms crossed on top of the back of it. “So... when were you going to tell me about the goose?”

Resigned to his face now, miraculously Ianto found his voice came smooth and easy. “I was hoping I wouldn't ever have to.” 

“Did you just think none of us would notice you had a goose today?” Then he stopped, thinking. “You've had this longer than just today, haven't you?” 

Ianto nodded. 

“You weren't really ill, were you?” 

Ianto shook his head this time. 

“Damn it, Ianto!” 

“I'm sorry,” he said, and he was. He'd lied and he'd been found out, but at least he had this chance to clear his conscience before he died. “I honestly didn't know how to tell you. For the longest time, I didn't understand what I was feeling, and then when the goose arrived... I was terrified of what that meant. I ran through every possibility in my head, and there was no solution that ended well for me unless you never found out about the goose.” 

Jack narrowed his eyes at him in confusion. “None at all?” 

Ianto shook his head. “But it's okay. I... understand. Torchwood comes first.” He took a deep breath. “Better do it now. I don't want to draw this out and say teary goodbyes to the others. Just get it over with. Do what you have to do.” He closed his eyes, waiting expectantly for the worst moment in his life. Worse than the battle at Canary Wharf. Worse than losing Lisa twice. Worse than—

And that was when Jack kissed him. It was tender and slow, drawing out Ianto's fear and replacing it with calm reassurances. At first, Ianto thought it was a sweet kiss goodbye, an 'I'm sorry I have to kill you,' kiss. But then he realized it was something more. Something much more. It was a 'why didn't you tell me you loved me?' kiss. It was a 'Didn't you know I've been wanting to kiss you like this for ages now?' kiss. 

When the kiss was over, Ianto opened his eyes, looking up at Jack. “I don't understand,” he said. 

Jack gave a laugh. “ _You_ don't understand? Ianto, I've shagged... well, suffice it to say I've had a lot of experience. It's probably best we leave it at that. Point is, having a soulmate is different from just having a shag. You feel this deeper than just in your cock or even in your heart. Your soul was meant to be with mine. And that's... that's something special.” He bent down beside the chair Ianto sat in and put his hand on the man's forearm again. The sparks were gone now, but there was a small tingle. 

Ianto felt his eyes tearing up again. “So... does this mean you're not going to kill me?”

“Kill... Ianto! No, no, I'm not going to kill you.” 

“And you're not going to retcon me?” 

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. “Is that really what you thought I was going to do?” 

Ianto nodded. 

“You thought it was more likely for me to get rid of you than to kiss you?” 

“Yes, sir,” he whispered. “Because I'm... just me. And because I lied. It made me sick thinking I was doing that to you again. I never wanted to ever betray your trust again. But I also never expected to have a soulmate goose.”

Jack moved in and kissed him again. This one was stronger but also lasted even longer. Jack's kiss seemed just about endless, drawn out and delicious, full of such life and emotion. When it was over, Jack pinched Ianto's scruffy chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Yes, you did lie. But I understand why you did it. And obviously I can't make you promise to never lie to me again. But I can promise you something instead. I can promise to never give you a reason to lie to me.”

A sharp intake of breath came with Ianto's surprise. “Jack...”

“You're in my _soul_ , Ianto. That's right where you're meant to be, apparently. I trust you like I trust myself. And I want you to be able to trust me. At least, I'd like you to trust that I won't kill you if you tell me you're attracted to me.”

Ianto's eyes danced. “Good... because I am attracted to you.” 

Jack grinned at those words. “There, now, was that really so hard?” 

Ianto thought of telling Jack that something else was so hard. Those kisses had felt wonderful, and his body was responding appropriately. Everything in him was tingling right now. But he didn't think this was the time for such crude sexual innuendo. “Yes, it was,” Ianto said. He looked deep into Jack's eyes now and tried to remember what he wanted to say instead of getting swept away by the man's dashing looks. “You're Captain Jack Harkness. You can literally have anyone you want. Yes, it's hard to tell you that out of everyone in the universe, out of everyone in all of space and time, you should choose me.”

“Well, then it's a good thing that the goose showed up, isn't it?” Jack touched the pads of his fingers to Ianto's cheeks, the bridge of his nose, just below his eye—everywhere he had a mark left from interacting with the goose one way or another. “Maybe 'good' isn't the word I'm looking for, but you know what I mean.” He gave Ianto's lips a soft, brief kiss. “I'm glad I know now.” He kissed again. “And, more importantly, I'm glad my soulmate is you. In all of space and time, I am glad I'm meant to love you.” 

Ianto really did start crying then, tears streamed down his cheeks and his body shook with sobs. But Jack held him, stroked the back of his head, and whispered over and over “I love you, Ianto. I love you, Ianto” until Ianto began to believe it in his heart. 

When Ianto had composed himself, with the help of the handkerchief in his back pocket this time, Jack was studying him, frowning. “What?” he asked self-consciously, tucking the hanky away.

“I think we need Owen to look at some of those cuts on your handsome face. And some of those bruises look awful. You can’t even wipe tears away without wincing. A mugging? You expected us to believe that?”

He shrugged. “Maybe, deep down, I was hoping you wouldn’t.” He gave a weak laugh. “Or maybe I’m just terrible at lying.”

Jack smiled and leaned forward, giving Ianto yet another soft kiss. “Well, then, you’d better stop doing it.” 

“Yes, sir.” He stopped, looking thoughtful. “I suppose, if there is something happening between us, I shouldn’t call you that any more…” 

Jack took Ianto’s hands and tugged a little as he stood up, having Ianto do the same. They were face to face again. “I love when you call me that.”

“I love you,” Ianto whispered back. 

Jack took Ianto’s head in his hands and kissed him again. Ianto put his arms around Jack and held tight, keeping him close. And it was more than an hour when they finally managed to leave the office in search of Owen and ointments or remedies for the sustained goose-typical violence.

**Author's Note:**

> Written during NaNoWriMo 2018


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